Dysfunctional Relationships

Insecure attachment styles can make you repeat patterns, even when you don’t want to.

It may feel like you try hard in your romantic relationship, but your partner does not try as hard.

Even when others reassure you that they care about you, you may have problems feeling loved.

Because you are afraid to be alone, you may stay in relationships that are not satisfying. When you are upset, you get input from different people but have trouble figuring out who you should listen to.

Your insecure attachment style may become activated at times, skewing your perceptions and expectations.

Attachment therapy can help.

Attachment therapy is about learning there are different ways of feeling, thinking, and acting in response to difficult relationship situations.

Adults with attachment anxiety may tend to feel sad and frightened when they get upset, look for a lot of support, and have trouble trusting themselves. Adults with attachment avoidance may feel angry at times, prefer to rely on themselves, and have difficulty trusting others. Both approaches are good enough; they help us form connections but sometimes they are too inflexible.

The most flexible attachment style is a secure one. All feelings are acceptable. Whether to rely more on others or oneself depends on the situation and whether help is available and valuable. Being flexible allows you to rely on both you and those you trust.

You don’t have to be limited to your automatic style. All these options can become available to you. If you want to change your relationship patterns significantly, you can. All you need is an attachment therapist – like me!

Dysfunctional families of origin can negatively impact relationships and emotions.

Perhaps you feel like you didn’t have the chance to learn some basic skills because they were not taught or modeled in your family growing up. Some things that other people know how to do in relationships, like talking about feelings or resolving conflicts fairly, are difficult for you to figure out how to do. You’re not the only one who feels behind.

It is never too late to learn basic relationship skills. Looking into what got missed in your family growing up gives you a chance to catch up. You might feel like you need a second childhood because you never got to play and be a kid and were always the responsible one. You might feel like your emotions have become shut down, and you need support to explore them and get to know yourself more intimately.

Whether you feel like you have a dysfunctional relationship with yourself or with other people, therapy can help. A therapeutic relationship is a place to practice new skills while receiving the support you always wanted but never got. You can grow in understanding who you are and what you need, how to assert your boundaries with other people, and how to nurture yourself.

Let me help you figure out what got missed during your development so you can go back and pick up those dropped stitches. Let me help you build the skills that will make your life fulfilling.

Break the cycle.

Have you been feeling like a bad parent – like you just did the same thing to your kids that your parents did to you, even though you hated it then and still hate it now?

It is possible to change these patterns, even after many generations have repeated what happened to them.

Therapy can make a difference. It takes courage and strength even to consider breaking this kind of pattern, so if that’s what you want, you already have some of what it takes. The rest is about having the right type of support, the opportunity to explore what comes up for you in difficult moments, and the training to make new skills become habits.

Let me help you. We can figure out what you are already doing better than the previous generations and where you are still struggling. It helps not to be alone, so contact me today.